Perfection in all things?

Perhaps the most frustrating subject I have to address is when women do not feel that they measure up to the expected physical appearance that is expected by a bunch of people who are being paid a lot money to create a perfect ideal, and they, most likely, themselves do not measure up to that ideal. The movie “The Devil Wears Prada” was a prime example of people who live in a world that is not like anyone that really reads their magazine! I’ve read that the editor of Vogue magazine has a stylist come into her office every morning to do her hair. Seriously!!! And, you, the consumer are paying her salary by buying the magazine, which affords her the opportunityt to do so! And, if she really has a stylist coming into her office to do her hair everyday, when her hair style is such a simple style, what does that say about her abilities to even blow dry her hair?! Not so sure I’d want people to know I couldn’t take care of a simple style! Also, what does it say about her stylist? Her stylist is so inept in his/her own profession that he is unable to do a cut that the customer can do on their own at home? I work with the best in the business and they all do cuts that are easy to work, and they show the client how to do it before they even leave the salon!! So, what is the lesson we need to learn from this? It is that, this is all for show!!! It is to put oneself above others, knowing full well that few people can afford to have a stylist 5 days a week. However, there are those that will think, ‘Oh, my. I must do this, too!”

Folks, most of the fashion trends that are out there, or beauty trends that are out there are simply to sell you something. They really don’t care about the real person, or what the real person can afford and what the real person’s time constraints are, etc. They are out there to sell a product or service to make a buck. Yep. As much as they cry, “Oh no, I’m very compassionate! I care about what you look like.” They don’t. Don’t fall for it.

My husband and I were just talking about a shoe company that gives away a pair of shoes for every shoe you purchase. Given the price of the shoe….they aren’t being charitable!! They have a marketing dream!! Have the consumer buy our shoes because we advertise WE GIVE AWAY a pair of shoes for every shoe that is purchased. No. YOU, the consumer are BUYING a pair of shoes with each pair of shoes you purchase. If THEY were giving away the shoe, I guarantee that the shoe would be less expensive. Great idea, but they are a little misleading in their marketing because we don’t stop and think about it real hard!!

When I go into a cosmetic store to do a makeover, and they use 21 products on this woman’s face…a woman who is young and beautiful already, one knows for sure they are in it to sell products. They used six products alone on her eyelids! There isn’t enough eyelid to use six products!! We fall for it, we think that we are inadequate and therefore we buy it.

Ladies, think better of yourselves. Please!! I received a phone call from a friend of mine that is a makeup artist and she was beside herself. She had just a makeover done on The Today Show. They had chosen a lady from a small town in Utah. They dressed her in a short black dress and stilletto boots. What did Stefanee say, “Where in the world in a small town in Utah is she ever going to wear that again!” She went on to say that the lady didn’t even look that excited about the end result of the makeover. The problem with makeovers on television is that a company has paid them to use their clothes, makeup, and hair care/styling. And, the person doing the makeover is usually a Dramatic personality, who does not take into consideration what the person’s lifestyle and personality will dictate exactly how to do a makeover. I have yelled at the television myself, over some of the makeover shows! I had to stop watching them, the cruelty and the non-information given the women most of the time makes the makeover more of a glamour shot than a makeover. Meaning, a glamour shot is for the moment. A makeover is new way of doing things.

The makeovers that we have done, do not take the people out of their comfort zone. And, those who do not keep up their hair style mostly are because they could not afford to go back to the stylist that we used. However, in their own way, they have continued to follow the new guidelines that they were given.

Unrealistic expectations create women and girls that are damaged emotionally for life, and they miss out on so much happiness that could be. When a store announces that they only want skinny people to shop there, we know that our society has reached a new low. When a store chain decides that they want to sell their plus size stores to another company because they do not want to focus on the plus size market, we have a problem with our society. Please realize that all of these stores and companies are in it to make a dollar, they really, really do not care about your well being. So, when they say they do….they probably don’t. Now, there are exceptions, Dove soap is doing a wonderful campaign, and if anyone out there knows someone at Dove, please introduce us!

Ladies, you are of infinity worth. You are of a divine nature. Please take heed, and turn away from the fashion magazines and the fashion shows. And, when the article reads that Kim Kardashien’s baby fat is not pretty, but Princess Kate’s baby bump is darling…..well, it is an article you do not need to read. One can simply look at their differing body types and know right away that they are going react in their pregnancies in different ways. We simply cannot compare ourselves to others, we are unique and beautiful in our right. A young girl with large bones will never fit into the Size 0 dress and should never be made to feel she is of less worth than the girl that has a small bone structure. As both women move into adulthood, and eventually motherhood, they are going to continue to look different. That is a good thing, it is NOT a bad thing. Some of us have high hips and will never have a tiny waist, yet, weigh all of 100 lbs, or the same body shape will have large bones and no waist weighs 160 lbs. Some of us will have tapered hips, with a resulting ‘figure 8’ shape, however, that shape might be a size 0 on top, and a size 2 on bottom; or a size 10 on top and a size 14 on bottom! We can’t change our bones. Realize that, and wake up to the ‘fashion snobs’ that are trying to make you feel less of yourself because you cannot wear the latest style.

Yes, this turned into a rant, but I’ve just seen too many happenstances over the last few weeks that has just put me on edge and I had to release it all! Be you. Ignore media, ads, and magazines, especially ones that tout celebrities as the person to look like. YOU like YOU; you have your grandmothers eyes; your father’s eyes; your mother’s bone structure; and your great-great-grandmother you never met’s hair….and all should be celebrated!!

Published by Carolyn Bendall

A fashion and image expert, presenting seminars, classes, and individual consultations. Monthly makeover column in the Commercial Appeal, hosts a radio show on fashion, beauty, image, and entertainment, writes a blog reviewing products with complete honesty, and trains image consultants from around the world.

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