Courage to be Nice

Have you worked in retail, food service, or any other business that requires working with the public?  If you do, then you have met the nicest people around….and…well…the least nicest people around.

Why do we take out our frustrations on the person that is trying to help us?  Why does someone railroad the sales associate that (after looking and looking for the right product) because their store doesn’t carry what is requested?  Why does one tear the waitress apart because the food isn’t prepared the way it has been prepared in the past?

In some cases this is a ruse to get something for free, which is an entirely different blog post.  However in most cases it is simply someone who feels inferior to the world, so to increase their own self-worth, they degrade anyone they can to feel superior.  So, why does one feel inferior to the world?  Why act out in such a way?  Failure to know what nice can accomplish perhaps?  Failure to even know how to act in a nice way, perhaps?

I have seen people who had no clue how to be ‘nice’.  Their family life was lacking in the practice within the family unit; so, therefore, it carried over to their public life.  Some people have been verbally degraded by others in their life to the point that they truly do not have a tiny bit of self-worth and therefore, their self-worth is developed by putting others down.
So, how do we correct this in our society?  It’s a difficult situation.  But first, we can start by being nice; simply being nice.  Be nice to the people at work.  Be nice to the people one encounters throughout the day.

Nice, what does that mean?  Does it mean allowing everyone to ‘run over’ you?  No, that is being a door mat.  Being nice is standing to the side of the line at the store while your order that is three weeks old and not fulfilled and when the solution has been found and admittedly that a mistake has happened and the items were not ordered; yet, one smiles and says ‘Thank you for taking care of the situation for me, and personally making sure that all of my order will now be fulfilled.’

The above is a true story, as opposed to the person who brings in a return, without a receipt and the product is opened and unsalable, yet, scream at the sales associate for not taking the item back and giving them cash for it.  Or, screaming at the sales associate when first thing in the morning you and your friend expect to receive change from a $100 for purchases of $10; the rage ensuing when the associate informs the two friends (who BOTH have $100 bills) that the store doesn’t start the day with that much cash.  Screaming at the sales associate and throwing the items on the counter out of the basket is not being nice.  (Granted some say that the $100 bills were probably counterfeit, but that would have soon been found out with a special pen.)

Why have we lost our ‘nice’?  Why have we lost our being nice to each other?  How do we regain being nice?

This post goes very closely to the previous one on ‘Respect’.  We have to have respect and gratitude to be nice.  How did you do last month on your Respect goals?  Are you ready to proceed with some harder goals?

Choose to be nice.

  1. Even when confronted with a bad situation, smile and say ‘Thank you for your help.”
  2. Write down how many times a day you encountered an ‘not nice’ situation and what you would have done in the situation if it were you.
  3. Write down how many times during the day you know you could have been nicer, or handled a situation a little different.

Published by Carolyn Bendall

A fashion and image expert, presenting seminars, classes, and individual consultations. Monthly makeover column in the Commercial Appeal, hosts a radio show on fashion, beauty, image, and entertainment, writes a blog reviewing products with complete honesty, and trains image consultants from around the world.

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